Going Native

Welcome to Transplants

Our Mission-

Our goal is to provide a group where women new to Lancaster County can make connections and flourish.

How to make friends after moving   -The Social Success Method

Going Native-   

 “One of the most important things you need to do when you’re about to move to  a new country (or even a new region in the same country) is to research local customs and traditions. This is important whether you’re a trailing spouse, or the one whose job has prompted the move- especially if that job involves managing people. When trying to get to know people who are native to your new home, taking the time to ask about (and understand) their values, upbringing and culture is a vital part of forming lasting friendships.”

From my experience and research I’ve come to understand the most important value of the Amish/Mennonite culture is simply family.

Here is an article from Direction A Mennonite Brethren Forum- to help us understand the dynamics of the Mennonite family structure.

"Each one of us has experienced, in his own unique way, the powerful influence of the family. Those of us who are Mennonite in background and upbringing can easily recall the distinctive influence that the family had upon us. Indeed, to a certain degree, we have tasted a slightly different flavor of that substance known as the family because we were Mennonites.

For example, we have always been closely in touch with our extended family. Not only have grandparents and uncles and aunts exerted considerable influence upon our upbringing, but we have also included relatives of more distant degrees in our family-consciousness. Consequently, at many family functions there were great-uncles, second or even third cousins, and other more distant relatives, who were called “uncles” and “aunts” not only out of respect, but also to emphasize that they were still “family.” I still remember the time that a friend, in talking about his family, identified one of his sixth cousins as still having family connections with him!

A second distinctive feature of the Mennonite family is the deep concern for the family “image.” The activities of an individual were seldom considered in isolation from those of the rest of his family. An individual was considered to reflect his entire family, and we all remember those who were frequently described as bearing certain blessings or blemishes solely because of their family connections.

The third and most pervading distinctive of the Mennonite family is the extremely complex overlapping between the family and the faith. Indeed, this close, interlocking relationship between one’s faith and one’s family has existed from the earliest days of the Anabaptist movement. Despite the fact that the Anabaptist-Mennonite churches have always emphasized that faith must be a voluntary, individual response to God, nevertheless the influence of family upon faith, and faith upon family, have always been keenly recognized.

Thus, the early Mennonites held that excommunicated members were to be shunned even by the members of their own families. Likewise, if a member of the church married a person outside the fellowship, the member was to be excommunicated.”

I found this article interesting because it summed up the importance of family and the Mennonite culture and the attitudes I encounter every day.  I had approached the Mennonite church as just another denomination I could become a part of by joining their church. I neglected to realize that family, faith, and church all overlapped here and joining the church did not mean I shared their heritage or family.

Here is a quote from  themennonite.org/feature/Mennonite/ evaluating the Mennonite church.

“Yet because most of those who have carried the Mennonite torch for so long in the eastern United States have been Swiss-Germans, our particular incarnation of Mennonite values came to be confused with what it means to be Mennonite. John Howard Yoder concluded in 1970 that the primary focus of the Mennonite denomination had become the preservation of ethnic Mennonitism rather than the proclamation of the true gospel in word and deed.”

I started asking questions and realized that the people I met all had either Amish or Mennonite roots. Many grew up in plain dress. Several have mothers who still wear a covering. Most can trace their family heritage back several hundred years. When they tell me their extended family are going to the beach they mean all 40 of them. I began to see that their church was an extension of their family, their heritage, their ethnic group.

This helped me realize I would not find the instant “Spiritual Family” I took for granted when I joined a new church. Joining church up here was easy to physically do but to be accepted into an established ethnic group with it’s values and expectations tightly woven into their blood family was another thing entirely.

Going Native in Lancaster County means recognizing the power of culture, heritage and family in the lives of the people I meet. It also means not being offended when no one invites me to the wedding, when the church forgets to tell me they changed their meeting place that night, when Christmas approaches and the friendships I was cultivating disappear until after the New Year. Family reigns in Lancaster County.


Understanding the culture of Lancaster County can help us have realistic expectations and value the people who reach out to us in friendship. An offer of friendship here is a precious thing whether it is from a native or from a Transplant.

“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” ~ Jon Katz